


Fight: Part I

by colormetheworld



Series: Tricks [6]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colormetheworld/pseuds/colormetheworld
Summary: A close call provides a watershed moment for Jane and Maura.





	Fight: Part I

Maura has her coat back on and is heading toward the door, keys in hand when Jane and Mae come into the front hall, both a little flushed from the chilly wind outside. 

Mae is holding Jane’s hand, and though she looks a little tired, she is unharmed. Mae sees her there and comes running to hug her, and Jane smiles widely, happy to see her, and it is this seeming disregard for the last three hours that shift Maura’s relief into anger. 

“Mae, go get your pajamas on, it’s way past your bedtime. I’ll be up in a little while.” 

Mae looks at her curiously, and then moves towards Jane, holding out her hands. Maura pulls her back in the direction of the stairs, realizing too late that her daughter is just going to say good-night. 

“ _ Mommy,”  _ Mae isn’t hurt, and her tone is not one of fear but of confusion and annoyance. 

It is too late to fix her actions, and she is too angry anyway. “Go put your pajamas on,” she repeats slowly. “I’ll be up shortly.” 

Mae obeys this time, scampering away up the stairs without looking back, and Maura turns to Jane. 

The detective is still standing a few feet inside the doorway. Her smile has faded, and now her arms are crossed loosely across her chest. She looks at Maura, obviously waiting for her to explain. 

The anger deepens into hot, white, fury.  _ Jane _ is the one who should have to explain herself.  _ Jane  _ is the one who has kept her daughter out  _ hours _ past her bedtime, whose phone has gone straight to voicemail, and who...is sporting the beginnings of a black eye. 

“What the hell happened?” Maura knows she is the one who has spoken, but her voice sounds strange to her ears. 

Jane raises her eyebrows. “I...didn’t you get my message?” 

“Yes,” Maura says, trying desperately to stay calm. “I got your message at five that said you were going to be late. But that was five and a half hours ago. And your phone has been going to voicemail for the last three.” 

Jane looks surprised by this news. She pulls her phone out of her back pocket and grimaces at it. 

“Died,” she says. “I must have forgotten to charge it-” 

“Where the hell have you been?” Maura cuts her off. “What could have possessed you to keep my  _ child  _ out so late, and to not even bother to let me know what was going on!” 

Jane blinks at her, baffled. “Remember the LaRocco case that Frost and I were working on?” she asks. 

Maura only raises one eyebrow. 

“We got a call that his second-in-command was holed up in a motel down in Dorchester, and so I-” 

“You took Mae with you on a  _ lead? _ ” Maura takes a step forward, and Jane must be able to read how furious she is, because she takes a step back, holding out her hands. 

“Of course not, Maura,” she says. “I had Korsak watch her while I went to bring him in. He put up a fight and we had to detour to the ER.” 

Jane waits to see if she has a response, but this last bit of information has rendered Maura temporarily speechless. 

Jane tries a smile. “I’m...okay,” she says slowly. “If it’s any consolation.” 

Maura stares at her, trying to understand how she could have gotten this so wrong. How she could have spent eight months, seventeen days, and almost 23 hours with someone and not know them at all. 

“How dare you,” she says slowly. 

Jane’s mouth drops open. “What?” 

“You heard me,” Maura says. “How dare you leave my daughter with a stranger in order to deliberately put yourself in front of danger.” 

Jane’s head jerks, a little shake of disbelief. “Korsak is not a stranger,” she says hotly. “He ranks higher than I do and you’ve met him a dozen-” 

“How many times has this happened?” Maura cuts across her. New, horrible scenarios are occurring to her with every breath. “How many times do you just pawn my child off on other people so that you can go do whatever happens to come up?” 

“Woah!” Jane’s eyes are as wide as Maura has ever seen them. “What the fuck?” 

“Don’t swear at me!” Maura says. “I’m asking you how long you thought you could get away with pretending that you care about my child.” 

“Maura!” Jane’s voice rises ever so slightly. “What are you talking about. This was  _ one time _ . And Mae wasn’t in any danger. She was with Korsak, illegally stamping his paperwork for him the entire-” 

“You could have  _ DIED!”  _ Maura yells. This has just occurred to her and it is too much. “What were you thinking? You could have been seriously injured and I wouldn’t have known. I would have gone on thinking you two were here. SAFE. And you could have died.” 

Jane’s face softens ever so slightly. “Maura-” she begins, but Maura doesn’t stop. She can’t. 

“What would have happened to Mae if you’d died, Jane?” She yells. “How would I have found her?” 

Jane steps back like Maura has slapped her. She narrows her eyes. “Well, since Korsak is a decent, caring human being, who knows that you and I are together. I assume he would have called you and had you come to get her before dealing with my remains.” 

Her flippant tone only serves to stoke Maura’s anger. “And what about how she felt? What about how you  _ promised _ to pick her up and spend time with her, and then you just leave her like she doesn’t matter.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jane says sarcastically. “Are you asking alive me, or dead me, in this scenario?” 

“This isn’t funny, Jane!” Maura shouts. “You put Mae in danger, and then you put  _ yourself _ in danger, and you could have died and I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN.”

If she keeps yelling like this, she is going to cry. If Jane keeps acting as though she doesn’t understand the severity of her actions, she is going to cry. 

“Maura,” Jane says, her tone somewhere between desperation and rage. “I’m sorry my phone died. I’m  _ sorry _ we worried you. But Mae was  _ never  _ in danger. Don’t you know that I would  _ never _ put her-” 

But Maura shakes her head. She doesn’t want to hear any of these fake apologies or fake promises anymore. 

“She’s not an  _ adult, _ ” she says angrily. “She’s just a child, and you cannot expect her to understand why you left her.” 

“I didn’t  _ leave-”  _

“We have to be able to trust you. I have to be able to trust that you’re making decisions with her in mind, or I can’t operate. How would she have reacted if you died, Jane? Surrounded by people she didn’t know? With a mother across town knowing nothing?” 

“Maura! You are blowing this out of-” 

“How could you do this?” Maura doesn’t want to hear any of the placating things that will come out of Jane’s mouth. They will sound like butter, and she’ll have no choice to believe them. 

For a long moment, they are silent. Maura can feel Jane’s eyes on her. Finally, she speaks. 

“I love Mae,” Jane says quietly. “I thought you trusted me to take care of her.” 

Maura shakes her head, wishing everything would slow down for just a couple of minutes so that she could sort out her feelings. 

“How could I trust you?” She asks, voice breaking. “Look what you did.” 

……

When she finally makes it upstairs to say goodnight to Mae, she finds the little girl sitting in bed with her chin on her knees, eyes wide and distraught. 

“You were fighting,” she says, her voice very small. “I heard you and Jane fighting.” 

Maura sits down on the side of the bed and takes her daughter’s face in her hands. “I know, love,” she says gently. “I’m sorry you heard that.” 

“Jane didn’t do anything bad, Mommy,” Mae says, frowning up at her. 

Maura smiles slightly. “Yes, she did, honey. She didn’t let me know where you two were. And she left you alone. That wasn’t the right thing to do.” 

“I wasn’t alone,” Mae insists. “I was with Detective Korsak. The whole time, except when he waited outside the bathroom for me.” 

Maura leans forward to kiss Mae’s head. “I don’t want you to worry about this, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. I love you very much and I’m glad you didn’t feel scared.” 

Maura lifts the covers so that Mae can scoot lower in the bed. “Sleep tight, darling, okay? We can talk about this more in the morning if you like.” 

“Is Jane still our girlfriend?” Mae asks. She sounds like she might begin to cry. 

Maura pushes some of her hair back from her face. “I know you love Jane a lot, sweetheart,” she says. “But it’s very important to me that you stay safe, and that you’re always the most important thing to the person who’s taking care of you. Do you understand?” 

Mae nods, and Maura kisses her forehead and then stands. “I’m going into the office late tomorrow, so we can have breakfast together, and we’ll talk some more, okay?” 

Another nod. 

Maura is just about to leave when Mae calls out again. 

“Mommy? It’s my fault Jane’s phone died.” 

Maura turns around. “Hmm?” 

“It’s my fault Jane’s phone died,” she says again. 

“No,” Maura begins. “It’s not your-” 

“Yes it is!” Mae says, a little louder. “Because Jane was calling Detective Korsak all the time to talk to me.” 

Maura turns to look at Mae. “What?” 

“She called from the car to talk to me, and then after. Then she talked to me the whole time she was waiting for the doctor. And all the way back.” 

“She did?” It’s all Maura can manage. 

“Yes,” Mae says, snuggling down a little more. “So please don’t be mad at her because of that, okay?” 

And what else can Maura say to that? 

“Okay,” she whispers. “I love you.” 

“Night,” Mae says. “Love you too.”  

…….

…….

Jane’s desk is empty when Maura makes her way into the bullpen the next afternoon. She pauses, wondering if she should wait, or leave a note when a voice calls out to her. 

“Dr. Isles!” 

She turns to see Jane’s partner Barold Frost walking towards her, a smile on his face. 

“Hello, Detective,” she says. “How are you?”   

“I’m doing better than your girlfriend,” he says with a chuckle. “Did she forget something?” 

Maura frowns, confused. “Excuse me?” 

Frost’s smile fades. “Sorry,” he says quickly. “I just assumed you were here to pick something up for Jane? Since she’s on bedrest?” 

“She’s…” Maura shakes her head. “What?” 

Frost is definitely not smiling anymore. “I...thought you knew,” he says slowly. “Jane and I took down one of LaRocco’s buddies yesterday. He hid in a closet and got the drop on her,” Frost slows down as he watches Maura’s face. “She was….getting stitches?” he says, as though asking. “That’s why she wouldn’t facetime Mae from the ER...but they talked on the phone the whole time.” 

Maura turns back the way she came, ignoring Frost as he calls out to her. She is barely aware of the drive to Jane’s apartment building, and it seems like no time has passed before she is knocking on Jane’s door. Hard. 

“Ma,” Jane says irritably, pulling the door open. “It’s not bedrest if you make me get up every fifteen-” her voice stops abruptly when she looks up and sees Maura. 

“Oh,” she says, stepping back. “Maura.” 

In the 18 hours since Maura has seen her, the bruise under Jane’s eye has darkened to plum purple and has been joined by a matching bruise on her chin and collarbone. 

“Oh, my God,” Maura says before she can stop herself. 

“It looks worse,” Jane says, turning away from her. “You can come in if you want, but I’m  _ really  _ not in the mood to be yelled at.” 

Maura follows Jane into the apartment, shutting the door behind her. “I’m not here to yell at you,” she says quietly. 

“Okay,” Jane says simply. She settles herself gingerly on the couch and doesn’t look at the doctor, not even when she comes to sit in the armchair nearby. Her expression stays blank and closed off.

Maura can’t say she blames her. “Frost told me you required stitches,” she says into the silence. 

Jane shrugs with only one shoulder. “Seven,” she mumbles gesturing vaguely to her abdomen. “They dissolve on their own.” 

“I didn’t know it was so serious,” Maura says. “I didn’t realize that-” 

“That I wouldn’t leave your daughter for anything less than the chance to get a murderer off the street?” Jane rubs the back of her neck. “Yeah. Go figure.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Maura says quickly. “I’m so sorry I said those things to you. I was terrified to get home and have the two of you not be there.” 

Jane doesn’t answer or look up. 

Maura takes a breath. “Garrett never seemed to have the time of day for her,” she says, watching Jane’s face. “He used to forget to pick her up, or leave her with people she barely knew for hours. And I couldn’t get him to understand how scary it was for her. Or how out of control it made me feel.” 

Jane sighs, shaking her head slightly. “I’m not Garrett, Maura,” she says quietly. “I’ve never given you any reason to think I would act that way.” 

“I know,” Maura says, trying not to well up. “I know. Please forgive me”

Jane looks at her. “Of course I forgive you,” she says, as though this is obvious, and Maura is overwhelmingly relieved until she realizes that Jane still looks slightly miserable. 

“But..?” she asks, stomach sinking. 

Jane leans forward, sighing heavily. “Your face when you said I could have died,” she says. “When it hit you that I might not only have hurt Mae but that I was also in danger.” 

Maura bites her lip. “I know you didn’t hurt Mae,” she says, avoiding the second part of Jane’s point. “She told me your phone died from talking to her so much.” 

Jane will not be sidetracked. “You know why everyone was so surprised when we got together?” she asks quietly. “It’s because the only thing they know about me is that I’m crazy dedicated to the job. They think it’s the only thing I care about.” 

Maura moves from her spot in the armchair so she can sit next to Jane on the couch. “I know it’s not the only thing you care about.” She puts a hand tentatively on Jane’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know why I thought it would be okay,” Jane says softly. “I don’t know why I thought it would be okay to put you through that kind of worry.” 

Maura had been incorrect to assume Jane didn’t understand her fear. Jane had seen and understood Maura’s reaction better than  _ she _ had at the time. 

“I just,” Jane makes a shrugging motion that makes her wince, and Maura leans forward, pressing her lips against the brunette’s uninjured cheek. 

“I love you,” Maura whispers, and Jane turns her head to kiss her gently. 

“Is that worth it if something happens to me?” 

Maura pulls back, startled. “What?” 

“Is it worth it if something happens to me? To say you loved me? Is it worth it to put Mae through that? Hoyt,” Jane stumbles over his name just a little. “Hoyt almost killed me.” 

“Hoyt is in prison,” Maura says. 

“There will be other times,” Jane counters, looking down at her hands. “Is that risk worth loving me, Maura?” she looks up, into the doctor’s face. “Tell me the truth,” she requests. 

As though Maura could do anything else. 

“I...don’t know,” she says finally. 

Jane nods, smiling weakly. “I guess we should figure that out before we go further, huh?” She has tears in her eyes, and Maura is sure hers have already spilled down her cheeks. 

“Let me stay for a little while,” Maura asks, taking Jane’s hands in her own. “At least until I go to pick up Mae?” 

“Course,” Jane says. She lifts her good arm and Maura snuggles up beside her as she flips on the TV. 

And neither of them thinks about anything but the comfort of the other for the next three hours. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT...  
> I plan to, worry not.


End file.
